A Letter from John Kerry

I, John Kerry, have chosen a running mate. This "mate" is as rich as my real "mate" and he has far fewer wrinkles. John Edwards, whom I shall henceforth refer to as "Little John", is the southern boost I need to win this election. What's more appealing to a southerner than a slicker than snot hotshot ambulance chasin', southern lawyer. Hot damn, kilogram, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, here we come. I am off to my home in the south of France for some R&R. Little John is in charge while I'm gone.

Sincerely,

John "Big John" Kerry