Best Surgeon Around

Three Massachusetts surgeons were having lunch together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon around. A concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later, he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

The second surgeon said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in a terrible accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later, he won 2 gold medals in field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago, a guy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a necktie. He's just received the Democratic nomination for President of the United States!"

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Post Turtle

While suturing a laceration on the hand of a 70-year-old Massachusetts business Tycoon (whose hand had been caught in a fence while working at his country home), a doctor and the old man were talking about Senator John Kerry possibly being in the White House one day. The old Tycoon said, Well, ya know, Kerry is a 'post turtle'."

Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was. The old man said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a post turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain, "You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor stupid bastard get down.

Kerry was A War Hero, you know

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This Picture is Worth More Than a Thousand Words

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This is a man that denounced his military service.

This was a man who had an alliance with the treason queen herself who was famous for befriending the enemy.

This is a man who was the head of the antiwar movement.

This is a man who not only called for, but embraced the idea of men to dodge the draft and move to Canada.

This is a man who called for men to turn their back on their country.

This is a man that called combat murder.

This is a man that now embraces what he once denounced and is now considered a war hero.

This is a man who once called his fellow war veterans baby killers, but is now proud that he himself killed while in combat.

This is a man that is despised by the veterans of foreign wars organization.

This is a man who may become our president?

This is a man that, according to the Democratic National Committee, will name Hillary as his running mate if he really wants to win.

We do not need this man as our President.

Waffles, Anyone?

Didja ever wonder what you get when you type in Waffles in Google?

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